I wrote about leaving London and our home renovations a year after we moved, you can read that post HERE
3 years on here are a few things I’ve learnt.
Trees are wonderful but are almost more expensive than children. When we first spied this house, I loved that it was surrounded by tall, beautiful trees. It made it secluded, it felt freeing after a year or so spent with the only window in our flat looking out on to the bonnet of my car (sometimes the neighbours car) and beyond that the road. Call me naive, but really I didn’t know, trees need looking after, trimming, pruning, sometimes they die and the whole thing rots from within and you need to get that tree down asap. Tree cutting, I completely appreciate is an art and dangerous, I do not want to handle a chainsaw whilst dangling from a rope. However it was never in my consciousness to budget for this so the costs for tree maintenance is eye watering. When I was unaware, I loved listening to the wind blow through the trees, now, particularly with the continuous storms we are having, it makes me anxious and worried.
Windows. How I giggled with glee at all the windows in this house, the light, the original warped glass. Again coming from a flat that had one bay window at the front and one window at the back (basically a long rectangle with a window at each end) I didn’t consider window maintenance. Basically I didn’t consider any maintenance.
We have 10 windows upstairs, 12 downstairs. That is a lot coming from 2. We have blinds on the bedrooms but have never got round to putting up curtains. We are not overlooked so it’s ok privacy wise but big old windows are drafty and cold and in the wind, you can feel the breeze. So one of my goals for this year is to make (well I’ve asked my mum to help me make) living room curtains and one for the front door (she doesn’t know about this one). The windows and doors are 6ft high so I need a lot of fabric.
When we first moved, we were busy with the renovations, settling in, finding nurseries, classes, exploring the local area, going ‘home’ constantly. 3 years on… I still feel half here, half there, although ‘there’ doesn’t really exist anymore. We can’t go back, I’m not even sure if that’s even what I want really, but I don’t feel I belong here either. I’ve tried in all the busyness of life to understand what is ‘wrong’. I know that the children are happy, they love Big House, they love the freedom and they love the local amenities, we have an abundance of National Trust properties on our doorstep - I love this too - and we often spend our weekends in nature. They are starting to find their feet with friends, Haven particularly and after school activities. I’m finally finding things that suit them. So I’m happy they are pretty happy. But the house, I know I don’t love the house, part of it is resentment. All the work I do, nearly all the money I earn, goes on bills and maintenance, in fact I’ve had to borrow to do a big repair last year, so I’m in debt too. And it wasn’t for anything wonderful or exciting, it was to fix something that was rotten, like replacing a boiler, necessary but such a sad thing to spend so much money on.
So I guess I blame the house, blame our decisions and feel angry about all of these things.
Anyway after all the thinking. I decided I want to try and love the house, there are bits I do really like and I’m grateful that my children have things like natural light, their own rooms, a garden, space, walls to stick things on. I really am. I realised that after all the main renovations (see that original post), we kind of just stopped (due to funds being depleted) but we never really made this space into a home. The walls are bare, the rooms have very little furniture (we still just have the things from our flat), there are no furnishings, there is no love, there is no detail and perhaps this is what is missing? Perhaps if we were to love the house more, it would love us back and we would begin to feel more right? I don’t know. The point is we are here for a bit, we can’t move right now, so either we try something new or this feeling of ‘wrong’ is going to continue and grow.
So with Michael going back to studying interior design (after designing and project managing the renovations here, plus two previous properties)
Here are some of the projects Michael and I going to tackle by doing the work ourselves and on a very modest budget:
Retile the kitchen and paint the cupboards - the kitchen, aside from painting the walls a neutral colour (they were Fushia) is as it was, raised crustacean and seashell tiles and all. I love the space in the kitchen but really who thought those tiles were a good idea?
The living room is like an empty shell. Last year I went plant crazy and we invested in some Ikea bookshelves but it just doesn’t feel cosy or inviting, it needs curtains, furnishing, A RUG! a whole heap of cushions, pictures on the walls. I also have some vintage wooden crates (much to Michaels dismay) that I have been talking about fixing to the wall and/or using as display cabinets.
Hallway, I’ve been going on about a photo wall since we moved in. I have managed to fix two pictures on the wall. I will fill the wall with photos.
The outside. Near the front door there is an unsightly patch of now mud (I’ve been digging!). It originally had a huge ugly pot with an aggressive, angry ivy growing out of it. I made a plan over December as there are three overgrown ugly bits around the house, too much to do at once, so I’m tackling one by one. First is this bit next to the house. I’ve been doing a bit of digging here and there and it’s getting better. The weather recently hasn’t helped but when it drys out I’ll get back on it. I’ll also (or persuade Michael to) jet spray the sides of the house, plus he’s promised to paint it (it’s on the blog so it has to happen!)
I think that is plenty to get on with, the children’s rooms will be next, I can’t bare them but they are happy at the moment so let’s start with the above.
As well as updating on the blog, there will be more behind the scenes (do you want to see those kitchen tiles?!) and progress over on our new account @1891House
I’d love it if you’d follow along.
Thanks for reading this xx
The Living Room Currently, needs some love and details but particularly curtains, rug and I think cushions are a priority (Michael is not quite in agreement!)
The Kitchen (with the old fridge)
Kitchen with the new fridge, a collaboration with AO.com